


Turn The Page And See The Wonder

by felixfrckls



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Bang Chan is Whipped, Boys Kissing, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Han Jisung is mentioned, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) is a Sweetheart, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Valentine's Day, still don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:21:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22743166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felixfrckls/pseuds/felixfrckls
Summary: What Chan hadn't quite taken into consideration was the fact that, if people tried to catch Felix’s attention on a daily basis, it was crazy on Valentine’s Day. The situationcouldbe funny if Chan wasn’t standing there, holding a letter which probably said the same thing as half of the ones Felix had already received.(or, Chan wants to confess to Felix on Valentine's Day but changes his mind when he sees how many people are trying to do exactly the same.)
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Felix
Comments: 9
Kudos: 402





	Turn The Page And See The Wonder

For Chan, Valentine’s Day had always been nothing more than a normal day.

Couples acted sickeningly cheesy on the daily so there wasn’t that much of a difference, and whoever was cool with being single wasn't going to suddenly feel upset about not having a significant other just because it was Valentine’s Day.

Yes, Chan did sometimes wish he could spend that day with his crush, but it wasn’t like he didn’t hope that every single day anyway. Especially since his crush was his best friend and spending time with him, even if not romantically, was still something that never failed to make him happy. 

Because of his indifference towards Valentine's Day, he too was surprised by himself when the idea of confessing to his best friend suddenly made itself known in his mind. Now, Chan didn’t know why he believed that it could be a good plan after hiding his feelings for years but, apparently, the thought couldn’t leave him alone. At some point, he was pretty sure he was either going to do it or lose his mind. 

Felix was popular, way more popular than Chan was. However, even if he kept receiving invites from his classmates to hang out, he had always found the time to spend with Chan, even when it meant turning other people down. That had always left a warm feeling in Chan's chest but, at the same time, it slightly bothered him too. Exactly because many people showed interest in Felix, the younger could have so much better than his dorky best friend. 

That was the reason why Chan had always pushed his feeling to the corner of his mind, pretending that seeing Felix hang out with other people, and even go on dates from time to time, didn’t break his heart. 

But this year Chan felt brave. 

He felt like he needed an answer, he _deserved_ an answer. He couldn’t stop himself from living his life to the fullest just because he was busy pining over his best friends and, above that, Chan was pretty sure that whatever Felix’s reaction was going to be, he cared too much about him to just cut him out of his life. 

Chan wasn’t going to pretend like he didn’t know how huge of a place in Felix’s life he held but, when it came to feelings, Chan had simply never taken into account the possibility of Felix seeing him in the same way. 

In the best, most cliché way of confessing on Valentine's Day, Chan had chosen the good old love letter. He was planning to put it in Felix’s locker at the end of the day when Felix was hopefully going to take it home and read it there so that he could spare himself the embarrassment of being confronted by him straight away. The night before, Chan had spent hours writing, pouring to words all the feelings he felt, reading the result over and over again to make sure that nothing was out of place or could cause misunderstandings. 

He paused at the end, wondering if he should have written his name or not but, after thinking about it for a few seconds more, he figured that he had worked too hard to leave the letter as a half-confession. Signing the paper, he put it in the envelope he had decorated himself and, with the greatest care in the world, he wrote Felix’s name on top of it.

When Chan arrived at school the next day, he was buzzing with excitement and nervousness. Two years of pining over Felix, two years of pretending that Felix didn’t make his heart skip a beat every time he did something cute were suddenly coming to an end. 

The chances of Felix turning him down were higher than the ones of him feeling the same way but, Chan could at least say he had done everything he could and would finally be able to move on without regrets. Now, what he hadn’t quite taken into consideration was the fact that, if people tried to catch Felix’s attention on a daily basis, it was crazy on Valentine’s Day.

Apparently, half of the school had had exactly the same idea as Chan, confessing to Felix with a letter or a note hidden in his locker. It was true that, in Felix’s eyes, Chan came undoubtedly before any other of these people but, at that moment, he was nothing more than another one of Felix’s admirers, planning cringy gifts just to have a chance to be noticed. 

Chan watched the scene from the hallway, a few steps away from Felix, just enough so that the boy couldn’t see him yet. They had gotten into the building not even ten minutes before but Felix’s locker was already filled with envelopes, letters and colourful notes. It was almost funny to watch the way Felix tried to avoid all the stuff falling on the ground, sighing to himself when he noticed he didn't even have space left for his books. 

The situation _could_ be funny if Chan wasn’t standing there, holding a letter which probably said the same thing as half of the ones Felix had already received. The confidence Chan was feeling just the night before quickly turned into embarrassment and, not even the thought of how much he had worked on his gift could make him feel better. 

On top of that, he couldn’t help hearing the conversation two girls were having, both looking at Felix’s attempts to organize his locker at least a bit. 

“He got even more letters than last year,” one of them said, a girl who Chan realised was in one of Felix’s classes. 

“Isn’t he dating Bang Chan anyway?” the other asked and, at that, Chan choked on air, still showing no reaction so that the girls didn’t realise he was listening. 

“No, they’re just friends. I mean, they've known each other for ages but, from what I know, it isn’t like that between them,” the first girl answered and Chan could feel her piercing stare on him, “besides, if they had feelings for each other, they would have already said something. They’ve been inseparable for years.” 

Chan hated the fact that her reasoning made sense.

If Felix was in any way interested in him, wouldn’t he have made a move already? Chan had feelings for him and, in fact, he had planned to confess but, since Felix had never done anything, then he surely didn't see Chan in the same way. 

At that moment, the decision for Chan came impossibility easy. 

He hid the letter in the book he was holding, hopefully not having to look at it until he could turn it into pieces and pretend as it had never existed. Maybe, some other day he would find the same courage again but, for now, he could keep bottling up his feeling as he had always done. 

Chan finally approached Felix, putting on a smile to cover the rollercoaster of emotions he was feeling. 

“The situation kind of got out of hand this year, I see,” the elder greeted. 

Even though Felix was still busy trying to find his notes between the hundreds of papers in his locker, he still turned around, beaming at the boy. 

“Yeah, I don’t even know when all these people got the time to put things in my locker,” Felix said, shaking his head and giving up on finding what he was looking for, “but, anyway, Happy Valentine’s Day, Chris.” The freckled boy was smiling from ear to ear, his eyes sparkling with happiness. Chan's heart hammered in his chest and, once again, he was reminded of the handwritten confession hiding between the pages of his book. 

“This day is so stupid, people overestimate it,” Chan said instead, feeling bitter at how the day turned out. Not only did he give up on confessing to his long time crush but, he also had to witness hundreds of people doing what he was too afraid to do. 

What would Chan do if Felix decided to date one of them? 

The elder could see the smile slowly fading from Felix’s lips, not expecting such a snappy response from his best friend. If Chan had paid close attention to it, he could have seen another kind of disappointment on the younger’s face which had nothing to do with his answer. 

“Sure,” Felix shortly said, pretending like Chan's words didn't leave a bad taste in his mouth, “well, the bell is about to ring, we should probably go.”

With that, Chan and Felix went in their separate ways, an uneasy weight making itself present on both of their chests.

…

Now, if Chan had been just a little more careful, he would have remembered to move the letter he had written to Felix somewhere else, perhaps in his backpack where no one could get it. Instead, he had forgotten about it, leaving the envelope in one of his books and, even though he still thought about it from time to time, classes were too distracting to have the time to dwell on it for too long. 

That was the reason why Chan didn’t show any particular reaction when Jisung had told him Felix had borrowed a book from her locker. 

“Felix said his teacher was going to kill him if he forgot his book again and he knows you have it, so he told me to tell you he got it from your locker. He said he’s coming over at your’s later to give it back,” Jisung explained as they were waiting for their class to start. 

Chan and Felix knew the combination of the other’s locker in case of emergencies and, in situations like those, it was extremely useful. As their teacher walked in the room just when Jisung finished talking, Chan only nodded, not understanding what that information could mean for him,

It was only at the end of the day, when he was in front of his locker, packing his books to leave, that a sudden realisation stroke his mind like a lightning. The letter Chan had written addressed to Felix was still in one of the books he had in his locker, but Jisung had told him that Felix had burrowed exactly one of those. 

He didn’t understand how he hadn’t thought about it before but, what he did know was that his only salvation was Felix taking another book and not the one hiding his secret. It took him a total of five minutes to look through all the textbooks still safe in his locker and to realize that the letter was nowhere to be found. 

That morning, when he had changed his mind about his plan, he had hidden the letter in the first book he had in his hands which was his algebra textbook. Algebra was a class Felix and Chan shared and for which, Chan knew for a fact, the younger never remembered to bring his book. The elder couldn’t believe himself since he knew Felix had algebra on Fridays and it wasn’t even the first time his best friend had asked to borrow that same book.

With his hands shaking, Chan weighed his options. 

He could pretend like he didn’t know anything and, with a bit of luck, Felix would do just the same, or he could address the fact himself before things could get weird. Even better, Felix might have not even noticed the letter with his name written on it, and none of this was necessary. Like the coward he had always been when it came to Felix, he decided to go with the first option and wait to see if Felix himself said something or if they could just move on, pretending like that never happened. 

Unfortunately for him, Chan wasn’t that lucky and, without a text or a call, at three in the afternoon, Felix was knocking on his door. No matter how hard he tried, when Chan opened the door and saw Felix on the other side, he couldn’t control his nervousness. The younger was holding in his hands the algebra book he had borrowed, the one which held Chan’s biggest secret inside. 

Now, if Chan didn’t know him as well as he did, he could have guessed nothing was wrong. Felix was still smiling at Chan, asking about his day and making small talk, but Chan couldn’t help noticing the way his eyes didn’t stay on him for more than a couple of seconds before moving to something else, or the way his smile looked more forced than it was supposed to be. It didn’t take a genius for Chan to understand that Felix had definitely seen the latter, perhaps even read it. 

When the conversation between them stopped and the silence in the room became tenser than it had ever been between them, Chan finally decided to take the matter into his hands and stop running away from his problems.

“You saw the letter, didn’t you?” Chan asked, knowing the answer already. Felix looked surprised at being called out but he definitely seemed relieved as well, as if he hadn’t wanted to start the conversation himself. 

“I did,” Felix confirmed, not even trying to deny it. His voice didn’t sound angry but there still was an edge to it that Chan couldn’t quite place. “What is that about?”

It was Chan's turn to be surprised. As hopeful as he had tried to be, he didn’t think there was a real chance of Felix finding the letter but deciding not to read it. “You didn’t open it?” Chan asked for confirmation, not believing his luck. 

“Of course I didn't. It isn’t just because I’m your best friend that I’m allowed to mind your business without asking first,” Felix answered straight away, almost sounding offended at the idea of Chan thinking so little of him. 

The younger had not read the letter so he still didn’t know the content of it and the newfound information gave Chan the option to lie straight to Felix’s face.

Then Chan really thought about it. 

Felix was there, on Valentine’s Day, not on a date with one of the people who had asked him out, but at Chan's, eager to understand what was going on between them. Chan hadn’t expected his day to go like that, but Felix deserved the truth and it was only fair to him if it came from Chan himself and not from a letter. 

"I was supposed to put it in your locker this morning,” Chan confessed, his eyes staring at the laptop in front of them, the movie they were watching still going. 

“Is that from you? I mean, did you write it?” Felix asked trying to make everything clear to avoid misunderstandings. Chan, too shy and nervous, only nodded avoiding Felix’s reaction. 

“You said you were supposed to, why didn’t you then?” the younger questioned. 

At that, Chan laughed humorlessly, no point for him to lie now. 

“You had hundreds of letters in your locker already. Mine was just going to be another one in the pile,” Chan opened up, his insecurities ringing loud and clear in the air between them. “Besides, I don’t know what I was expecting with this. It is clear that if you felt the same way, you would have made a move before or something. I'm sorry I have made things awkward between us.” 

Chan wasn’t the best at talking about his feelings, preferring to bottle them up, but once he started talking it was like he couldn’t stop the words anymore.

“It wouldn’t have been just another confession in the pile,” Felix said, not giving him any other explanation besides those simple words.

From beside him, he felt Felix getting up and, for a second, he thought the younger was running away from him, disgusted by his best friend having feelings for him. When Felix came back but didn’t sit down, Chan finally raised his head. 

Felix was standing right in front of him and looking at Chan with such determination that the elder almost felt like shying away. What caught his interest was the letter Felix was extending towards him, urging him to take it. The envelope was oddly similar to Chan's but, on the top of it, there wasn’t Felix’s name but his own instead, written in Felix’s neat handwriting. 

“What is this?” Chan asked dumbly, blinking his eyes quickly as if that would make the scene in front of him clearer. 

“That was supposed to be my first attempt at confessing to you which clearly failed,” Felix explained, the lightness in his voice a stark contrast to the tense silence from before. 

Chan snapped his head towards him at the words. 

“Confessing to me?” he repeated, sure that he had somehow misheard the words. There was no way, not even a single one, that both of them had had the same idea for that day and both had chickened out at last. 

“You said I would probably have made a move on you already if I was interested, right? Well, I had planned to do that today,” Felix added more details which, instead of helping Chan understand, only made it harder for him to believe that it was really happening. 

“And why didn’t you?” Chan was the one to ask now. At that, Felix chuckled softly, his eyes turning into half-moons. “Because the first thing you told me this morning was that Valentine’s Day is stupid and the people leaving me letters are basically dumb too,” Felix laughed, “you know, I was already nervous and that didn't really help.”

The teasing in Felix’s voice helped Chan come back to his senses after being lost in his mind for the last minute. How could he have been such a fool to tell Felix that just after the younger had so sweety wished him a Happy Valentine's Day? He actually knew the reason. 

“I was just annoyed all those students had confessed to you,” Chan mumbled, still not believing he was saying all those things out loud and to Felix of all people. The boy seemed to light up at the words, a blush dusting his freckled cheeks.

“Oh, so you even get jealous of other people, Chris?” the younger teased but the fondness was so evident in his voice that Chan couldn’t take him seriously at all. 

“Excuse me if I’d like my crush not to have hundreds of other suitors confessing to him,” Chan teased back but it wasn’t hard to hear the truth in his words.

Felix smiled at him, flopping back on the bed once again, “what if I asked you to read that letter now?”

Even after everything, Chan was still a bit nervous about the content of that letter but he couldn’t hide the fact that he wanted to read Felix’s just as badly. 

“Let’s make a deal,” Chan suggested, “I’m giving you my letter and you’re giving me yours but we won’t read them until we’re alone.” 

The suggestion sounded good to both of them because they knew how embarrassed they would have been to be there when the other read what they had written. Satisfied with their compromise, they lay down on the bed again, the movie almost over on Chan's laptop. 

“You know, I usually don’t kiss before the first date,” Chan said out of the blue, giving up on trying to follow the movie, “but I think we went on way too many unofficial dates already.” 

Felix turned to look at him, lying on his side, “is that your dorky way of saying you want to kiss me?” Felix guessed, laughing at the way Chan's ears turning bright red was an answer in itself.

“Perhaps,” Chan confirmed, not finding it in himself to be embarrassed when Felix’s laughter rang so brightly in the room. Felix set cross-legged on the bed as Chan was still lying down, watching with fascination every single of Felix’s moves. 

When the younger leaned down, their lips a mere breath apart, Chan's mind finally shut up and allowed him to enjoy the moment. Felix’s lips were softer than anything he had ever touched and he could taste on them the lip balm he always insisted to put. Being so close to Felix, the younger’s hands softly cupping his face while Chan's arms were around his waist, was everything he had ever dreamed. It was the comfort Felix had always brought with him but doubled in intensity. 

Both of them could swear they would have gladly got lost in each other if their need to breathe didn't force them apart. Panting slightly, they couldn’t help but chuckle happily. Chan brought Felix down for another kiss, covering the smile on the younger’s lips with his. 

"I don't usually ask a boy to be my boyfriend before the third date,” Felix said between pecks, Chan chuckling at his choice of words, “but this feels long overdue.”

...

Chan wasn’t going to lie, he felt pretty satisfied when, the next day, he and Felix walked down the hallways with their fingers intertwined, giggling by themselves as if they were lost in their own world. 

After having read Felix’s letter over and over again the previous night, Felix’s words were a constant thought going through his mind. 

_People keep asking me out on dates on Valentine’s Day, giving me gifts, writing me letters, but the only person I want to be with is you._

Every now and then, Chan would pull Felix a little closer, leaving a soft kiss on his temple every time someone’s stare lingered on his boyfriend for a second too long, and Felix? Well, he pretended not to like it.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy late Valentine's Day! <3  
> Also, thanks to Eddie for beta reading the story and helping me out a lot!
> 
> i'm always up for a talk @  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/eajaemelody/)  
> [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/eajaemelody/)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/eajaemelody)  
> 


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